I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
