i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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