dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
