How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
