I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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