i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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