And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
