Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
