Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
