I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
