My nipple is on Facebook.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
