I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
