Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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