brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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