Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
