when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
