I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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