She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dear god my vagina.
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