I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
