I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
