I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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