Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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