I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
