??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
