Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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