my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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