Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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