Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
