I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
