Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
