i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
