every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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