It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
