I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
