the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
