Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
