i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
