Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
