Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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