How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
