Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
