I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
