So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
