It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
