dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
