i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
