I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
