you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
