That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
