My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
