You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
